Recently - yesterday actually - I suffered a betrayal, and it traumatized me. For the entire evening and throughout my attempt to sleep during the night, I experienced the phenomenon that Freud described so well in Beyond the Pleasure Principle. I kept spontaneously rehearsing the betrayal and the events leading up to it, re-imagining them in different forms that would have led to different outcomes, fixating on a person to blame. Something that I was unable to bear entered my psychic system, and because it was a shock, and because I lacked the resources to easily categorize it, something within me was working intensely to create a narrative, to develop a new concept so as to be prepared in case the same shock would happen again.
It times like this that the arcanum of Apocalypse is especially valuable. When betrayed, the obvious choice is to react, to play the hand you’re dealt with, to take action in a way that will satisfy the temporary discomfort - but this is a hyperborean approach to life. It’s better to remember during these times what it is that one is seeking to achieve, and to remember to aim for the highest goal, which is the resolution of the antinomy between fact and value, or between existence and essence.
The capacity to imagine ‘what’s best for humanity’, to desire it, to yearn for it, to see, feel, and reason about it, is one and the same as the capacity to break free from the fate legislated by a trauma, and therefore to break free from the power of the person by whom it was wreaked. Wounds are terrible things, but they also constitute a kind of basic building block of reality.
It can be wagered that any one wound that I myself experience relates back to a series of wounds that refer back to a primordial virtual wound that constitutes my very essence; and it can further be wagered that the sum total of these essence-constuting wounds lived by human beings constitutes an ur-wound constitutive of human civilization as such.
Part of the value of savoring the ur-wound is simply that the pain of one’ immediate wound pales in comparison - it is practically nothing compared to this constitutive wound.